Responsibilities

In the past years of life, I had at least two of three only things to do and that was easy. Now I got parenting of 8 children, taking care of their grand mother, 3 courses to teach and prepare course books for the students, writing papers for conferences, doing surveys, and Teaching supervision for student teachers, but most of all that I love doing is gardening. Getting my self into the dirt and playing around with it. After all those that I have mentioned, I like going home and listen to the birds singing and just dig away. 

So I have planted two blocks of sweet potato gardens and they are almost ready for harvest. I still have two more blocks to plant. I am planning for two items, carrots and sweet potato. Hopefully I will get the soil prepare done next week, before the planting. 

Then I will go for Teaching Practice (TP) as a supervisor for the student teachers. I will leave my 8 children and my other 38 students with heaps of work load for them while I will be away for two weeks for TP. Hopefully I will get my VISA done for travel during the Christmas, and that will be a relief for me from all these tight schedules that I have. After the TP i will be getting papers ready for the conference.

Hope that all will be ok.

Few pics here.

 

God has always been good to me and my family.

Pens off.

Lena

Pondering

Today is one of those normal days, where you got to ponder. Well, I woke of quite well and came to work not knowing what was ahead of me. Did my normal things as always, things you do in the office, pretend to do office work when your boss comes by, but in actual fact, I am reading blogs, or on face book or chatting with my co-worker.

Well now you really know what I do right..well actually that's not what I do always, this isn't what I was doing or do but it seems or seemed like.

I had to walk a few distance to feed my hungry stomach, and back to the office, and as I was about to  entered the office when I was met by friends so started speaking in Bangla.  To me it sounded so good that silently I  tell myself that I am doing good with you Bangla, yet when you ask them about any random questions about the conversation, no respond. Wow, it only takes me back to square one, again i will improve with my speaking Bangla. 

Christmas is coming around the corner except I didn't feel like I want to celebrate it. I am so bombarded with restless thoughts. I want to move around but I cant. I feel like I have prisoned myself. There a lots of things that I want to do but I cant do them. Right now my mind is tired yet cant rest either. My body is heavy and weak...yet I don't want to lie down. my blood is just right, yet my fingers and feet are swollen. This is not out of frustration but sharing what I am feeling right now. I know that these are part of the big change...BUT could it be sooner...I still have few more weeks to go through. I should not be restless...may be its just today...but wait this has been happening for a while (two weeks ago). Those of you know me, I'am doer, not waiting for things to come to me, but meet them on the way. Well it will be ok, at the end of the line.

Peace.

Lena

Hmmm...my Bangladesh life is almost coming to end. On Wednesday the 27th, 11:45 pm will be my flight. I might not be using internet for a while, but just want to put some words that have been bothering me for the past two weeks. To start with the fresh encouragements that I hear from my friends: gentle spirit, loving, inner strength, people connector, and I thought...these are not new words, I have heard this before from my wonderful friends whom I have worked with and went to church with in Texas, World hunger Relief, Inc and Hope Fellowship. But then the big question arises, WHY AM I GOING home? What am I missing? What is the fact about me that is not known to people whom I worked with, and sharing everything with can not see this item/things/character that is not exposed? This made me thinking, I should say that I am a thinker, I can think all night and still I will functioned the next morning. Anywhere, just to say that I am right now battling with myself about things that i can not control over. Thanks for your eyes and ears.

God's Peace!

Lena

For a while

After three to four years I am back on my blog. I don't know what happened but am back now and that I intent to stay for a while.


Past time line
I had happy times and very down times as well, but that didn't put me down. I strive because of someone/something super natural being that kept me going each day. Now I sit back and realize that I would not have made it through those real dark times, if it wasn't for the super natural being. I am so thankful that the little hope that I had in him was just enough to keep me going. Now, I am happy whether big or small am happy, reason being that He will keep me through. there is something in me wants to know this being more, it has a zeal for him, just cant wait then remembered that I used to have that before and I know that I am on the right track. I must have gone far, far and far and has taken me 3-4 years to trace it back, now that I found the zeal will not let it go...I will keep you close by me.


I love what I am doing, imparting skills and knowledge I have gained in my few years on this planet earth, as I learn I will continue to impart.


Thank you, Lord


Lena

Riley walked to church

a week earlier (he loves sugar fruit and just finished one)

walking out of the room to go to church

after church

On Sunday, Riley and I got dressed to go to church. He wore his futua and his stockman and was already outside waiting for me. He acts so big, behaves like the grown up kids. He is yet to form words, and letters. He can only form sounds and putting them together to make words such as mama, and meme (goat) and daddy, bye,and ba (bus). He understands what I say and follows immediately either in obedient or disobedient. He's been trying to hit me on the face when he is not happy about something and I have flipped his fingers and that has made him stop for now but may be he will continue again, who knows.

He is one kid that wokes up quite awake. This morning I woke up and walked out of the room to go to the rest room. He was fast asleep, and as soon as I closed the door of the room, I heard him saying mama...I just stopped, thinking that he'll go back to bad. Nope, he walked out and tried to open the door. When I helped opened the door he smiled and said nana (his breakfast). oh, nana is his nannys' native language meaning food

Above are some pics i took on sunday (05/06/11). he is now 1 year 5 months 13 days old.

Rileys Pics

The four pics were taken 16th of Jan 2011, 1 & 2.5 wks old.

after a long swim he was really hungry n gave him riped plaintain. (1 yr & 1wk old)

a day before is birthday..he loves his car!(25th Dec.2010)

a week after his birthday...(saturday)

Boxing Day

The Boxing day is very special to me this days because of my son's birthday. He was borned on the 26th of December 2009 and he will turn one the coming Sunday. I know I havent posted any pics of him lately and I apologise...I dont have a camera right now. So Ill just give few words of whats been observed. He started to slide down of the bed by himself when he was only crawling. He then goes to the window and starts to scream at his mate who is three years old. The three year old than walks to the window side to reponds to him and its so funny watching him get so excited and puts him both feet to climb the glass. Of course I go for his rescue. Then about two weeks ago he started to walk...kind of...took few steps and then falls. Just yesterday he was walking smoothly on the lawn and I sat and watched him while he was having fun with the other kids. All of these to say that he is growing faster than I expected. Very soon two of us will hand in hand walking together, doing shopping. marketing..etc. So everyone Ill put some pics if I find a camera...much Love and please celebrate safe this festive season. Wishing you all A Very Merry Christmas and Prosphorous New Year 2011!

Reflection

Today I sat back and remembered what had happened so far. I left Bangladesh with pain in my heart because of this huge guilt...I was frustrated with myself but I knew that I wasn't in the position to undo what was done so I came. Just after few months, to be specific May 28/05/2009, my dad passed away (September 14th 2009). Its been a year and a month, and other two died in my family (my eldest sibling and first niece)...when you talk about family relationships...it goes all the way to the roots so to say. I know that we are living in two worlds (Physical and the spiritual worlds), my leaving, I thought was that tragic but than I realized that, I would live and work in a more painful life if I wasn't present in person with my family during these time of mourning. It was for the better, although dying of these people not fair as many would say....the all knowing God knew that and brought me here and there are things that I need to contribute to the family. Everything happens for a reason and I belief in that. I am looking forward for next year will bring and that is also in the hands of the Lord All Mighty.

Peace to you all!

(By the way this year has been a year of death...I don't know if you have heard or seen about so many dying...my country has had a lot of dying this year alone).

Two Deads in the Family

On the 24th of October 2010, was my second eldest brother's burial. After one day of rest, my eldest brother's daughter passed away, both from illnesses. It was such a tragic.... The cost of the casket for both, food for the mourners...it is quiet an expense, but the pain of loosing them is such that, I thought I will not make it. But its a week now and I am coping. My family is right now going through a lot of emotional pain....every time I reach home, just getting into the trend of being so tired...this is what I am experiencing. please think of me and my family in your prayers.

Thank you

7 months old Riley

Betty with Riley. Jerry with Riley.

Nayamo with Riley. The 3 of us.

Baby sitter and Riley. Me and Riley.

These photos were taken on the same day...the baby sitter, me and riley are infront of the lab...the other pics are taken at the dept. conference room... The pics were taken about three weeks ago.

Five months old Riley

Hi and 26th of May is Riley's 5th month of suriving externally on the planet earth. He is such a blessing!!At five months he can sit and doing all the turn overs...In the mornings I get up late and he is fully awake and when I looked at him, he gives this warm wide smile that makes my day!...

Riley is Growing!

Riley smilling to the camera

Riley's baby sitter

So, Riley is four months, 2weeks and five days old from today. He is weighing aroung 7-8kilo. He smile to everyone that he knows. If he doesnt know that person, he starts to inspect from the person's toes and upward later. Thats kind of funny but he does that to most of his strangers. He Yesterday he did a full turn over, It is fun watching him grow....it like I just held a fregile and its gone...so soon. found he strength and kicking and talking(in his strange language), and smiling. So to say that he is growing so fast...
Thats all and put some pics later...

General happenings

So I ve been beaten by a dog and down with typhoid. Grrh the dog bite me and walked away that easily. If only I had something in my hand, the dog would have died there. I am fine and well today...although I am elaggic to the drugs i am on. I have been busy all these two months. Having a baby is a bundle of joy as well and hurdle. I am not complaining...I love my baby, its that extra responsibility has added to me.

Anywhere, we had a long staff meeting today and now I am happy that we are done....but had pizza for lunch which is not normal here so yea!! for that. Other than that my past work have been so great too. I have done some DNA extraction using the machines that are here in the lab...which makes me a little pro...more to learn though. The DNA extraction was for pigs and chickens within the country. The samples were send to Australia so we'll see the results when we get the samples back. This is to count for the diversity of the gene pool in the country.

Too much have been said so Ill leave it here but Ill catch up with you later....Blessings!

Down with Typhoid

A week ago, I felt really sick and I thought It was malaria. The symptoms were just like malaria's. I went to the hospital and the nurses thought it was also malaria and I was on malarai drugs for a whole week. Just then I thought the sickness was going to over, but never did so went back to the clinic and went through whole blood count and found out that all these days of sickness was typhoid. Now that I found out I felt better but than the medication or the drug that I am on is not good for my body. My body is so itchy and I just couldn't get it of my hand. Now they gave me the other drug to control the itchiness but its more of a sleeping drug and I am soon going to go to bed...that's so sad. I feel like my body is full of drugs. What can I do, I just have to go along with it...because typhoid is really bad. I got this sickness from the cramped up little room that I am stay and sharing toilet and bathroom with everyone...which is sad at the same time....oh well, I'll let you know of my progress later. baby is doing just fine except the mom...that's all for today...Peace!

A Boy

few weeks old one month and two weeks old

So on the 25th of December at 10:30pm I went to the hospital for. The baby was borned on the 26th at 9:55am the next morning. Well now he is one month and 3 weeks old. He smiles at me and hears peoples' voice and reacts to them. I would like to thank those of you who prayed for both of us. Special thank you to Merideth...ur special and your in our hearts and of course your his aunt. Mer we got the package two days ago, they great! I (we) love them. The little boy has a baby sitter and she is just wonderful to the little boy. oh, she just started this week and I have been visiting them on my lunch breaks. Also, the school gave me a small room to stay, and for now we are happy about that. I am back to work and its starting to get busy now that the students are here. I will put some pic of the little one later. Love and blessings,

Mind's Battle

Its the mind!
Travels way faster then the speeding bullet, discovers the wonders that you would never do it in reality. Its the mind that makes you sad, happy, causes troublesome, brings fantasy right to your door step. Oh mind, words can not describe you to your full potential of what capacity you can destroy a man and mend a broken person. Most of the time I think only with my mind, not involving the heart, thats when I feel like I can travel for ever and experience the unseen things of the world. I am in my fantasy world, but when I am back from that world, its a pain.. then comes the questions with the conditional word "IF" only I've done that, or these. Trying to bring me back to my self yet I dont have the power to do so sometimes so I continue to fantasy. Mind can finish a book within few minutes and yet in reality I can only finish a page or two...oh MIND!!

My New Job

I am doing tissue culturing. Infront of the pathology section with my friends.

I have started working in a biotechnology lab as a scientific officer. The name sounds so complex...but what I am doing is not that complicated. What I have been basically involved for the past few weeks is doing media preparation for plant tissue culture either for regeneration or for multiplication. This is basically puttting together nutrients (both macro and micro) plus hormones for growth, root and shoot formations. This are then put together with agar which is a sea weed that holds the nutrients togther. This is then poured into small vials and put them in for use. Another thing I do is the plants that are kept in the incubation root, are brought out for regeneration. This is basically maintaining the germplasm collection so that the plants species there are kept alive and are not lost.

Thats what I am doing so far...hopefully I will come up with a proposal to work on something of my own.
Thanks for reading

Respect!
I thought that by now my elder brother should respect me yet not. I am so tired of living my old life again.Trying to make him like me and respect me. In the name of peace, I am growing tired of this and anger is grwing inside of me which I need to deal with. I have never, asked anything of him and I dont know what he wants to see that would make him respect me. Maybe he is just up to him self that he has no care at all for others. Today I am so frustrated just dont want to see his face. I see why my other brothers and sister never come close to him. I need to get out of his side....Lord please help me to come to a good decision that will not hurt the other.

Grrrh!!!!

New Working Area

Well its been a month now I am working as a scientific officer. here are some pics of me, friends and the lab. I work doing tissue culture. Most work that I was involved for the past few weeks are doing taro regeneration tissue culture, potato media preperation, sweet potato media preparation. Currently I still dont know what I am doing yet...my job description has not been given out yet. So I should say I must have a patience. I am still looking for a house to leave in but other than that I am still trying to catch up with this slow phase which is irritating sometimes.

Thats whats happening right now but I will put out what the outcome of my next visit to the doctor next week.

Blessings!