What Am I Doing

What have I done? How much have I done?

So little may be, or nothing at all. Oh no!!! I have my first attampt and wasnt successful. What have I been doing the pass few months... I am thinking so hard trying to assess what I have done. Eating, sleeping, talking, walking, waking, simple daily chores but is that why I am here....I dont know. Who am I going to ask for help to put me back to the right track... ........

I have been fighting... fighting so hard that no blood is shed... Whats is this? Is this somekind of joke.. no it is not.... yes I have been fight but not physically involved, like throwing or hiting or arguing, its just been my mind. I ask God why have you created me? I dont want to go through this life that I am right now in... Yes I tell my self about the mercy of God and what God wants me to do... I feel like I am in the right track..... being with the poor and serving them... but whos taking care of my problems... Yes I have this huge problem.... a problem that I feel like so huge that it chocks me in..... I am trying harder... and praying harder asking God for wisdom... but in the mist of bombading my problems to God, it seems like God is not there or rather I am far away from God. Whats happening to me.. does that mean I am in sin... that God is not talking to me because of some hinden sin.....maybe, I dont know!!!!!

So I come back to myself again, where am I really???? What am I really doing????