Mind's Battle

Its the mind!
Travels way faster then the speeding bullet, discovers the wonders that you would never do it in reality. Its the mind that makes you sad, happy, causes troublesome, brings fantasy right to your door step. Oh mind, words can not describe you to your full potential of what capacity you can destroy a man and mend a broken person. Most of the time I think only with my mind, not involving the heart, thats when I feel like I can travel for ever and experience the unseen things of the world. I am in my fantasy world, but when I am back from that world, its a pain.. then comes the questions with the conditional word "IF" only I've done that, or these. Trying to bring me back to my self yet I dont have the power to do so sometimes so I continue to fantasy. Mind can finish a book within few minutes and yet in reality I can only finish a page or two...oh MIND!!

My New Job

I am doing tissue culturing. Infront of the pathology section with my friends.

I have started working in a biotechnology lab as a scientific officer. The name sounds so complex...but what I am doing is not that complicated. What I have been basically involved for the past few weeks is doing media preparation for plant tissue culture either for regeneration or for multiplication. This is basically puttting together nutrients (both macro and micro) plus hormones for growth, root and shoot formations. This are then put together with agar which is a sea weed that holds the nutrients togther. This is then poured into small vials and put them in for use. Another thing I do is the plants that are kept in the incubation root, are brought out for regeneration. This is basically maintaining the germplasm collection so that the plants species there are kept alive and are not lost.

Thats what I am doing so far...hopefully I will come up with a proposal to work on something of my own.
Thanks for reading

Respect!
I thought that by now my elder brother should respect me yet not. I am so tired of living my old life again.Trying to make him like me and respect me. In the name of peace, I am growing tired of this and anger is grwing inside of me which I need to deal with. I have never, asked anything of him and I dont know what he wants to see that would make him respect me. Maybe he is just up to him self that he has no care at all for others. Today I am so frustrated just dont want to see his face. I see why my other brothers and sister never come close to him. I need to get out of his side....Lord please help me to come to a good decision that will not hurt the other.

Grrrh!!!!

New Working Area

Well its been a month now I am working as a scientific officer. here are some pics of me, friends and the lab. I work doing tissue culture. Most work that I was involved for the past few weeks are doing taro regeneration tissue culture, potato media preperation, sweet potato media preparation. Currently I still dont know what I am doing yet...my job description has not been given out yet. So I should say I must have a patience. I am still looking for a house to leave in but other than that I am still trying to catch up with this slow phase which is irritating sometimes.

Thats whats happening right now but I will put out what the outcome of my next visit to the doctor next week.

Blessings!

7 months pregnancy

Hellow all,
On the month of April I found out that I was pregnant and so I had to leave. I know I didnt tell everyone that I know before leaving because I just thought I wasnt ready to let everyone. But I know that such news leaks out or it break its way out so I know that by now most of you know the reason I left. Those of you still dont know, well this is the reason. I apology for not letting you all know, I hope that youll forgive me.

Well, not that I am growing big and heavy now. By the way I am 29 weeks into my pregnancy and that is about 7 months. The baby is kicking and making lots of move inside me while I am writing right now. I just met with the doctor and went through the scaning and I have mentioned to me that its a she. We could exactly tell whether thats a she or a he. Anywhere, I am not sad, I know that the life is growing in me and I am looking for ward for it to come out and see the light. I still have few months (2 months and few weeks) before delivery. I will try my best to put out some pics of me later.

29 weeks (7 months) old..in my room
I thank those of you who are praying for me....God is great and I am still connected to him.

Peace!

Word of Apology and Appreciation

Wow, its been so long and I havent been upto date with my blog. I am just happy that now I have an internet excess and I get to write down whats happening in my life as time goes by. But for this I have to recap the past happenings and try as much as possible to put down the brief details of the past three and a half months.

I left Bangladesh on the 27th of May 2009. Before leaving Bangladesh, I had only one week to say good bye to my friends there. My apology to most of my friends that I didnt visit due to time limitation. Those that I manage to visit, I know I didnt give much time to them so I also apologise to them too. I am so thankful that I get to work and hangout with very great people, and I appreciate you wonderful encouragements. Anywhere, I left with sadness but I will not regret the decision that I made to leave, it was a good course for me. I will let you know why in my next blog.

Leaving Bangladesh

Well, today is 18th of May and Iam leaving Bangladesh on the 27th of May. This is so soon to leave; I haven't completed my three year commitment, but I must go..soon..soon the better. MCC is working on my flight fare and I am right now packing and finishing up things before I live. I did not think this would be me..but it happened and I have to leave. O well, I have to think about the positive sides here, though I feel lost and lonely but I know one day that there ll be an opened arm saying, come my child I don't care about your wrongs you've done, no longer I remember, no more...will that be so amazing to hear? Well, I just called my guardian's and said do come home....i am going home with burden, but I will right now let future take care of itself and I will face it as it comes...I thank those of you have been praying for me, and reading this blog...I know I don't post things often but you have kept with me. May God's grace increase in you lives. I have a life that is springing in me and I cant wait for that...though I know I am not ready for it...but I know that we'll manage.

God's love and peace to you all.

Lena

Easter weekend

My easter's journey started in Dhaka, Mohakhali mymensingh bus stand. We got there at the Bus stand where, workers of different bus companies coming over to us (me and Gloria) asking us to buy their bus tickets. But decided that we would get a bus that a friend had told me to get. Once we got to the bus stand, there was already a long line awaiting for us, and to say that it was almost 115 degrees of so, and such a high humidity I had no patience to wait. We walked pass the line and there came this guy, walked to us and told us the seat numbers and get in the bus. We got in and paid him later for the seats. Amazingly it worked for me, I didnt want to stand in that long line so...nothing to loss although I felt little of those feelings u have when things like that happens.

Anywhere, we reached mymensingh, just than I realised that I had never been to that bus station. I made so random calls for help but no one was their to pick there phones. So the first name that came to me was bridge and I mentioned that and the rickshawlar said he knows the place. He said he would take us for 25 taka, which later I realised that wasnt far from the bus stand, anywhere, I gave what was agreed. Anywhere got there and found a bus that was just leaving. Got in the bus, but this is much more smaller so everthing were all squashed in and left. Just to say that it was an hour bus ride..and I manged through.
Got off at 25 miles and took a van ride which was rough but still I could feel the cool breeze as the van passed through the shadows of the trees. Reached Pirgach at 5 ish and had our meal. That night I get to wear shari and went to mess and it was fun with all the candle lights. After that got back, at around 11pm everyone went to their rooms or their homes, and everything was quite, and I was just lying down on the chair that was placed in the center and counted the stars , the moon in the clear sky and felt the cool breeze as it brushed through. Just being out in the open, felt amazing, you just want to forget about everything..I went back to bed at 12pm...The families were great, they hosted us very well.
After the second day we left for our different areas. Me and Gloria came to mymensingh and the two Bogra guys came back to Bogra.

All in all it was great for me.

sheared sheep wool

MCC reap Bangladesh involves with mostly agricultural activities in which you all know that I am mostly involved with. One of the major areas that we have been working with is called the Monga Project. Part of this project buys live animals and distribute them to farmers that have less marginal land. We have provided about more than 1300 sheep in that area. Its been almost two to three years now and Iam working on setting up a wool co-op for them. And this last week I have been involved with shearing the wool. This first sample will be used for washing, weighing and using them for finding buyers. Right now the wool quality is not know yet and so, I will post later about the wool quality. Just within half day I finished 10 sheep shearing their wool...I amso amazing by myself that I can use a clipper and shear 10 half a day. Anywhere, I am starting to look for buyers now...whether it may be a international buyer or local buyer. Once I find and settle with the agreements than I will continue with the rest of the wool shearing but this will not be done by me, itll be done by the farmers/rather a selected farmer that will be specialised doing that later. Hope all will go well as I look for buyers. The pics will be posted later.

A wanderer, a traveller, a sojourner

I am a wanderer, a traveler a sojourner! Since i came to Bangladesh I realized that I traveled a lot. My comfort I find is with my MP3 player as I am stared down..I have set this invisible walls that I see nothing and hear nothing and the only thing is my music. I rested my head on the local buses several times and awaken by the thunderous sounds of the bus honks. I have created my resistance to the problem of staring, nothing more to say rather a boundary of silence. Local bus is now my place for thinking and the guest house is my resting place. Road side hotels are my dinner table or break fast table..every conductor is my friendly tour guide.
Books have been my friend and MP3 has been my listening vessel. What can I say, this world is not my home and I know that I am just passing through.. its a song and it has become my reality. So, here I go...a traveler, a sojourner, a wanderer!
Cant wait for the best stored for me!!
Peace,

Jesus I believe

So this is a song that always touches my heart every time I come to God. I'd like to share this with you all.
Song

1. Like a ship on trouble water many sail alone. Mothers' weap for sons and daughters pray that they come home. Soon it will be harvest time and all the storms will pass. Oh what joy Ill find when I see you at last.

Chorus
O o o, you are my resting place along the narrow highway. You are my bridge across the open sea. You are my saviour and my passage way to heaven. Oh Jesus I believe in you, o o Jesus I believe.

2. Father you have seen my struggles, you have known my fear. Though the world laughs me, says I am just a fool, I will bow my knees and worship only you.

Bridge:
I believe that youre the answer to lives questions. Lord help me keep my heart in the right direction...ooo. You are my resting place along the narrow highway, you are my bridge across the open sea..you are my saviour and my passage way to heaven..ooh Jesus I believe in you..oooh Jesus, I believe.

The Retreat

So...we had our expetriate country retreat a week ago. It was very nice to be out of very plain areas to at least sort of mountain country side. Its a different kind of of setting apart from the very plain but green bangladesh that I am used to now. The people living there are totally different and of course there is rainforest, which we went for a walk. Seeing monkeys and drinking seven layers of different coloured tea twices, is something to remember. Then having our group devotional/sharing time together was very helpful. I should say that most of my lives living is on denial, but this doesnt make me a bad person.. rather finding the common ground to share is very much needed. I should say that when sharing with one another on common ground really helps thus relieving our exhausted mind partially or completely. While I am still in the Grace period, I have to learned how to serve whole heartly. This was the word of the Lord came to me during the retreat.

So, the retreat was fun, walking through the woods and smelling the dead leaves was the highlight for me. Then of course sharing, playing games, just hanging out with the group and drinking seven layers of colored tea.

Rabbits kidding

The Rabbits
Its been five months and three weeks when the rabbits have started kidding. My specific job title was/is livestock researcher, and was told to work with rabbits and pigs since they are the major issue with the tribal areas which MCC is mostly working with. But has decided that rabbit could be introduced to the muslim community and I have been working with the rabbits to solve or find the cause of not being pregnant or not kidding. I have bought twenty eight rabbits twenty are female and eight are male. Since I bought them at the early age, some of them were sexed wrong. This is because, a month ago, I found out that one of the males is female which reduce the number of males down to seven. As some you remember that I have mentioned about the housing designed that I was working on. Well the results collected, I am still working on it but I am writing this to share the good news that one of my housing design is great or highly significant. This is because most of the females that gave birth are from one of the housing design. I have one mother with four kits that I am right now taking care of these will be used for breeding purpose. As I was coming to closure of this research, I have selected farmers to take the rabbits that are not going to be used for breeding. I am so happy that most of the rabbits have been taken by the settled families and starting to build the recommend housing to raise the rabbits . So far thing are getting better.. and hope that the muslim community with start to eat the rabbit meat. Or and these rabbits that are given, are to the muslim community.

Thanks for reading and God's blessings everyone.

Pig house construction

The Prolonged Project, 16 pens are under construction using tools that are avaialble there.

The flooring was about to finish, i hope you can see the slope from this pic...its a 3 degree angle slope.

The prolonged project has started. I actually went and did the ground breaking which wasnt part of the plan and I was surprised too. So they asked me to start laying one block and then the mixed cement. Well I am feeling good now that it started. It will take at least two months to complete and start with the data collection after that. Here are some pics that I got.

Materials/tools used here are used everywhere in Bangladesh...there is no big took for big constructions, its all the same, big or small, same kind of tools are used. These tools are very simple are very interesting yet the error made is not much significant. here are the tools used.

a wheel barrow weighs about 40kg: water level, very interesting tools

carrying @ least 200 block: man carrying sand

First Visit 2009/Shukurer Ghor

Yeee. my first out visit for the year 2009 started Saturday the 10th January. This is suppose to be weekend but anywheres who cares, I went anywhere. Started my journey as usual, meaning last years travelling..local bus with lots of people...hoping that people will not sit on your lap. made it savely and started my next project for this year which is pig house. Before that while sitting in the bus I saw lushy wheat grasses coming up, and then yellow heads of mustered plants scattered in one area to the other. Its nice to see some fields are as bright as the sun as it seems like as your passing through the field like youre in a roller coaster and others are brown as the dust. Some parts of the area have just harvested rice and left untouched, and I saw goats, sheep and cattles on it, but to tell you the truth nothing is there and I was wondering why there were lots of animals there till it clicked in my head that they are eating the fallen rice grains. Back to my pig house construction, its been on for three days now and its looking good. Have set the foundation for the partions and then the flooring and flooring comes Ill need to be. while the housing is going fine I found out today that people who bought/brought the piglets in the mission had brought lots of male which we didnt need. I am frustrated about it but I still have the time to sale them or exchange for female as these words I am tell myself so to calm my self down. How can you work with people who says yes when you ask them the question you understood and thendont down what you told them to do. Anywheres, other then that we have started fine and hope to have my piglets move into their new home not only their new home but to their individual rooms.

Christmas & New Year

So I got back from Kolkota. I should say that the month of December worked on my favour. After that vacation, the 23rd was another long trip for me but than I wasnt alone. Before leaving I had this wonderful treats of christmas cookies from Marita, Marita, thank you so much. We (coworkers) left around 11pm for Bandarban. The night bus ride doesnt work for me. The whole night I didnt get a good sleep, the reason is because the AC in the bus was turned on eventhough it is freaken winter, cold. We got there save and had our break fast. It was way to fun, we took a canoe ride and sang christmas songs, and swam with my orna, I am not proud of what I did but this to say that it is a different world there, where no one was staring, and under good music we had a dinner in Joyce's (Bengali coworker) home. The 25th we attanded a mass and took our bus ride to Cox Bazar, this is one of the natural long sandy beach here in Bangladesh. We reached the place in the afternoon, and celebrated christmas there on the beach, stayed there till 8:30pm and went to our motel. The next morning was our next island visit and the bus picked us up and another bus ride, may be for an hour, but worth it.... alot of bus rides though. Anywhere we got there on time for lunch and got our room but a bed for each. Played, laughed, swam, boat rides, night sky watch, had quite time...all in all I enjoyed everything....

The New year was fun also, I got back with 6 piglets from Dhaka to Birampur, and bunch of my other bedeshi friends were coming the next day before the new year. We had our little dance party while waited for the year new...Yep there go now you know what I did..thanks for reading and for all your wonderful prayers.....n looking forward what ever this year will bring!!!