Christmas is coming around the corner except I didn't feel like I want to celebrate it. I am so bombarded with restless thoughts. I want to move around but I cant. I feel like I have prisoned myself. There a lots of things that I want to do but I cant do them. Right now my mind is tired yet cant rest either. My body is heavy and weak...yet I don't want to lie down. my blood is just right, yet my fingers and feet are swollen. This is not out of frustration but sharing what I am feeling right now. I know that these are part of the big change...BUT could it be sooner...I still have few more weeks to go through. I should not be restless...may be its just today...but wait this has been happening for a while (two weeks ago). Those of you know me, I'am doer, not waiting for things to come to me, but meet them on the way. Well it will be ok, at the end of the line.

Peace.

Lena